I know balance in Gods kingdom and in my life is important. I'm struggling with guilt on myself and by my local church because I like to drink wine. I feel like I've failed and I'm judged. I'm even harder on myself if I OVER drink. Is it ok to drink but wrong to get drunk? If so, please pray for me to be free from desire if alcohol.

Hi Carol. You are loved! Carol is it the desire for alcohol? Is it the desire to feel something better than the pain, frustration, unhappiness, or anxiety you experience when you are sober? Because in the case of the latter- that desire is not something to be fixed. It's the promise of God that you should experience joy....just without the dependence on anything other than what-rather, Who is within you and the joy that heaven takes in you. Sometimes its hard to access that. I struggle to access it and I tend to do harmful things like overeating or eating things that contribute to poor health. With warm greetings-

I also have a question around guilt. Is it the case that guilt is the fume of hell? Like is the righteous feeling or experience "conviction" but the guilt and shame are the fumes of the enemy's deceit? Or is guilt a godly response?

The 'guilt' is a jab to my performance. I know that much...I feel like I've failed God. Ultimately, I don't like the control it has on me, for example, 4pm comes around and I'm looking for my drink. I miss out on part of my life

Carol, I understand what it feels like to think we have failed God. It's horrible and draining. I don't believe it is from God if we feel bad and not motivated to do something about it. I took me too long to deal with it as I didn't realise I was partnering with self pity, guilt, other stuff and old patterns of feeling and thinking. It hindered my awareness of Gods Presence. The desire to drink is usually linked to something else and possibly avoidance to deal with that issue. I also discovered this through experience. It was more comfortable and easy to enjoy sedating myself with drink than to look at an area causing me unhappiness and make decisions that would change my life. My suggestion is Make time, write down what is not making you happy, possibly a past event that was not resolved in a healthy way or something current. Write your options of how to deal with them and ask yourself what would be the most freeing choice. I was not seeing with the perspective I needed to bring change. Be blessed with truth and courage, self love and compassion. I hope this has been helpful.

Thank you for love and encouragement. Thank you for being the body of Christ.

Well, I read through all of your posts and gained some helpful insite. I could relate with the gnawing sense of guilt that can sometimes be buried deep and I don't even know for sure what it is. Yet, I know that it is a pattern that probably developed from my past. I want emotional and physical relief and to be free. What helps? The more I listen and sit under Grahams teaching the less I identify with these stuck feelings identifying who I am. I lean into Jesus and ask Him to undo what only he can undo within me as I know that my freedom has already been paid for. Jesus helps me identify more with who I am in Christ-not the twisted attachments from the past that were hurtful. Little by little this seems to help. I know that guilt is not from God and this is not what God wants me to identify with. He wants to free me from the bondage of self. Somehow knowing this helps. As God reveals more of himself to me he helps me unhook from old lies and distorted beliefs. I can actually grieve for the situations that took place in my life where these lies were established. I find that I am relieved of the pressure of blaming myself and others. This is a process for me and I can't decide how long these things take yet day by day I am transforming. Thank you all for expressing yourself.

Amen, I'm listening to overcoming negativity. Its helping for sure.

Listen to the Nature of Freedom by Graham Cooke; Personally, there have been things in my own life that I didn't want to let go of because I thought that I couldn't live without them, but when I finally surrendered those things to The Lord, He gave me the ability to say no. Remember Romans 8:1 which says: "There is therefore now No Condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus". Condemnation is basically fear of punishment, and where there is the fear of punishment there is no real relationship with Jesus. Also, my Mom is a social worker, and she says "Addiction is the opposite of connection" so if you are not able to open up to people at your church about what you are feeling in regards to your struggle without fear of being shamed or made to feel worse, you might need to find a church where they're not religious and look for a church that understands freedom comes through God's empowering grace and not through legalism and self effort. Read the book of 1 John and pay attention to any specific verses that the Lord highlights to you. that is the easiest book of the bible to understand and it makes things so easy to understand it's almost like a template for victorious christian living. Sometimes I think it's weird that we run from the bible when we have problems like this because we think the bible is just there to point out our problem to us and to make us feel bad about it, but the truth is that the bible is meant to lead us back to God and show us how to connect with Him. 2 Timothy 3:16-17. You can Substitute the word "Man" for "Woman". I'm praying for you as well. God Bless!

I heard on Sid Roth it could be a demon of shame dumping a bucket of shame on your head. Same demon who put the thought in your head to do or say it in the first place. Knowing the tactics of the enemy may help you take authority over the battle of the mind. We all go through this, but stay keyed on the promise of Righteousness. Focus on all that God promises in the Word. His Word does not return void.

I'm late to the party of comments, but after reading all the wonderful input, I have to say one thing about my experience with guilt and shame.

I had a lot of it; Jesus took it all. I knew that in my head but my heart struggled for years learning how to incorporate the truth. As I went through Graham's teachings of Gamechangers and Lifechangers, God helped me realize that I am enough. There was always something in me that felt I somehow just didn't measure up. If I could find that piece and fix it- then everything would be ok.
Oddly, when I accepted the truth that in the beloved I am enough. I felt whole, accepted and renewed. My shortcomings, my hurdles, if you want- really do not define who I am. Jesus defines who I am and as I stay in him, he will do that refining work in me. My part is believing I am enough right where I am, right now. In Him.
Now, over a year later I can see that he has changed me at my heart level. I could not do that; he could do that when I agreed with him that I was enough.
Putting this into words doesn't seem to make any profound sense, yet it was a huge turning point for me.
I enjoyed all of your insights and love sharing.

Carol....it has been 5 months since you posted. I hope you see this. If so, please let us know how you are doing. I feel pretty confident in saying that we all care and pray this finds you over-flowing with the knowledge of how much you are loved and appreciated.

You guys are real. Love the body of Christ for how you show up! Graham teaches a better way, for sure compared to miserable performance trap. There is nothing I can do to make the Father love me more than He already does. Thank you

Hi Carol, I'm so happy to hear that you're doing better! The devil loves to play with guilt and condemnation, it's his go-to because of how well it works in the body of Christ!

Our job is not to perform, our job is to believe in the One who did it all so we didn't have to! We all need to understand how deeply loved and accepted we are in the Father's heart because guilt and condemnation are always around trying to steal that Truth!

If there was anything we could do or not do that can make God love us more or any less, than Jesus would not have to come! If one man could perform to please God then he would condemn all of us because there'd be a standard out there that we would all try to live up to!

The Bible says no one is good, no not one! That's why our King had to come, That's why He's our Jesus who said; IT IS FINISHED!!!

Our life starts where His ended! We rest and rely on the Finished work of Jesus so we can just our selves.

Good day or ugly day, just know that you're in the ark and even if you fall, you're still in His arms and nothing will ever steal you from His chest! ❤️

I just read this from one of Graham's post from the series Desiring God:

"The Father doesn’t want you to approach spirituality from the mindset of achieving. There are no grades in the Kingdom, nothing to strive for that will change the way He sees you. The Father loves you exactly the same on your very best day and on your worst."