Yes, Nina Yes. Boy oh boy have I been there. It's a terrible vicious cycle. But I'll tell you what my love. The Lord not only Loves you, the beautiful 3 are delighted in you, rejoicing over you as you fight those feelings and thoughts and reach toward help, community, and connection.
When I'm overrun by my mind and emotions all screaming I suck and I'm awful. I get away and insist on making time to connect with Him with brutal honesty and rawness. (And gurl, I'm an UGLY crier) He meets me, removes the false condemnation, lifts my head, excites me with His vision and douses me with perfect love.
I keep hearing, "My hunny bear, I am so excited to meet with you. I'm thrilled to take your heaviness and strengthen your hands, heart, and mind. I Am making you a threshing weapon. I'm with you in this moment. Teaching you of the depths and lengths of my love. Not only for you, but I'm expanding your heart for those your path"
Sister, you're not alone. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.