I was saved almost 20 years ago but the seed fell by the wayside and the enemy came and stole the word away. Skip ahead 17 years and I am going to bed on a Saturday night in 2018 and the word Malchizedek pops into my head. The next morning out comes the bible (well, google happened first lol) and I started looking for references in the word. A royal priesthood forever in the order of Malchizedek. Jesus was calling me back after all that time. I hadn't realized for 17 years that I was still saved. That's how little I knew. One can never lose their salvation and he was calling me back because I have been chosen for a time such as this before the foundation of the world. Glory to God!!
I went to a local church for a time but there was something missing. About 6 months later my parents invited me to a church they started attending recently at that time. I went once but my wife was working out of town quite a bit and she had the truck a lot of the time. I was blown away by the teaching by the Pastor and the Spirit inspired messages but had no way to attend until my parents lent me their second vehicle for a week. If they had not done that I probably would not have gone back. They had lent me the vehicle so I could get around the city for grocery shopping and such. God was working behind the scenes drawing me to the place I am meant to be! Hallelujah!
I was a fair weather Christian most of the time. All excited on Sundays, Wednesdays and Mondays when attending the church but as soon as I went out the door I cooled off quite a bit. Scared to profess my faith to people, not taking a stand when I should have...those kinds of things. There was a 2 month stretch where I stopped attending altogether. But Jesus drew me back again. He is faithful to complete the good work he has started in me as undeserving as I believed I was at the time. There was one time I was angry for not having a prayer answered and I refused to get out of bed on a Sunday to attend the service. When you hear the audible voice of God speak your name, and not in a commanding or demanding way but in a way as a reminder, you jump out of bed and into the shower, right?! lol
There were little things, and big things, where he was always drawing me to him despite massive unbelief and, what I realize now, was my immense pride. I still didn't know what my gift was after a couple of years in attendance and I was getting more than a little discouraged. Others would get healed beside me but I wouldn't so much as hear a peep from God and got discouraged even more. Basically my pride got in the way of me seeing things as they were. And not pride as in puffed up but I mean pride as in low self esteem and making myself the center of my attention. the other end of the pride stick.
I was sexually abused as an infant and had a lot of anger and shame regarding it. I finally told my wife and parents what had happened in my early life in 2010. Carried it with me in the front of my mind and in the back of my mind for a lot of years. Went for therapy, had tons of support from family and friends but that didn't make a difference. What finally did make a difference a few weeks ago was when I stumbled upon Graham's "Wild Love" prophecy while working out of town. I knew it was for me when the notebook I use to take notes in church fell out of the bag it was in on the hotel room desk, and hit the floor. All by itself. Now there's a hint lol. That was before I got to the end and found out we are supposed to write the prophecy out by hand.
Since then it's been onwards and upwards in Jesus. I finally surrendered the guilt and shame of what had happened to me as a child. Set free by the blood of the lamb, Glory to God! Just a couple of weeks ago I found out that I have been called to be a teacher in the body of Christ. Thank you Jesus! I am believing the fact that God loves me unconditionally, that I have a purpose and a calling, that Jesus wants a personal relationship with me!
This is where the mentorship part comes in. I am blessed to have been directed to Wild Love and to have discovered BTV. What I've been lacking is mentorship. It has tremendously helped me in my walk with the Lord in just a few short weeks. My apologies for the novella I have written lol. Thank you Jesus and thank you Graham for guidance.